don't drink at lunchtime...

...otherwise you may make a complete fool of yourself!
My story starts a couple of weeks ago when I was driving past a bus stop and I saw someone I recognized. All good so far, however the person in question was a checkout lady at my local supermarket and I don't actually know her I just know her face. I hope this makes sense so far...after today's events I am seriously questioning my sanity.
So, I see a face I recognize, I'm about to toot and wave when I realise I don't actually know this woman at all...still with me?
Today I'm queuing in the supermarket when I realise I'm in THE checkout lady's line and she's smiling at me. Now, usually I would just quietly acknowledge the smile and go back to speed reading the rubbish magazines, today though I'd had a lunchtime tipple and my garrulous side was just itching to make itself known.
"Hi", I grinned, "I nearly tooted and waved at you the other day"
"I nearly tooted and waved because I saw you walking and thought I knew you"
"You were walking past the bus stop and I saw you and nearly tooted and waved because I thought I knew you, obviously I don't, it's just that I see you at the supermarket checkout, which made me want to toot" I petered out.

She stared at me in silence.
"When was this then?"
Hurrah, I thought, I'm not speaking in tongues, she does understand,
"I'm not sure of the exact day", I reply, "It was one morning last week."

Now in a perfect world she would have calmly beeped my produce through, keeping all thoughts of 'Looney!" to herself, however I don't seem to have access to that perfect world, so she stood and glowered for a while before saying,
"What day?"
"Like I said, I'm not sure"
"Was it Tuesday?"
"Not me then, I work on Tuesdays"
I'll stop got worse, I'm positive the woman behind me sniggered, but I'm starting to glow radioactive red all over again.

Looks like I'll be shopping elsewhere, for a little while anyway!


  1. Hi, that sounds like the kind of thing that would happen to me, so you are not alone, very funny.

    I’ve come over from the lovely Nina’s blog!

    Love Lou xxx

  2. LOL, Just the sort of thing I've done WITHOUT an alcohol tipple as an excuse! Mine involved a car parking incident and me saying something about, oh I know you we play in the band together - well she was the persons double! I swear, thankfully I've never seen this person again as I got a very weird look and snide comments.

  3. I positively cringed when I read your words - 'oh' how it happens to the best of us at times!!

    take care and have a good one!

    Nina x

  4. You sounded normal in my universe. She sounded dangerously off centre with her need for hard facts.

    Keep being you and to hell with the beige people.

    Lisa x

  5. Hello (I'm new here..another crossover from Nina's blog) - this post made me laugh so much..just the kind of thing I would find myself doing. My worst trait is bumping into people I really do know, only I can't remember where or why or what their name is and I'm left stuttering as I desperately try to introduce them to hubby.."errr this is..errm.."